Secondly, it is essential to know to forgive our spouses not be invading, or pollute by anger, revenge, hatred. Cowan and Kinder highlight also that the desire to hurt, of get even, prove that we are right, even obtaining a confession by our partner is normal. Everyone without exception. We have those vile needs feel better. However, in the long run, when anger begins to placate, the final step to regain love and harmony is forgiveness. You did it, you experienced? Has been concerned by restoring harmony? how has faced the situation? Definitely forgiveness unlocks love, frees you from the tyranny of the egos that have been created, since it seeks his happiness, live in harmony. By hurt or upset we are, highlights the cited authors, even though we have convinced we have the reason and as much as we want to blame someone, our own partner or retaliate us, we can not return to love in a positive way if not we chose to forgive, release us from this torment, not complicate our existence.
. Forgive Cowan and kindergarten, insist it is a voluntary intentional act, no one can force, born of yourself, you can not coerce anyone. It is not something that we say, it’s not a verbal process, it is an internal Act that releases, the anger, the pain, bitterness, resentment. You forgive it is not excuse and does not rationalize or explain the feelings of pain, only one knows what hurts him something. It is reaching a point that we are ready to liberate us, detach ourselves from negative feelings, it is to give another chance, is not stuck, not imprison us. Another aspect that we must cultivate, properly handle towards our growth is concerning friendship and as love manifests itself in it. Erich Fromm reminds us, the deepest need of man is the overcome its own individuality.
Hence, Cowan and Kinder, say that this friendship oriented to achieve that. It is the antidote for the human dilemma that we all face at some point in our life: solitude. Friendship Yes manages to diminish our individuality. However is more than temporary relief of solitude: its rewards this among the best that we can experience. All the friends share certain qualities. Firstly, there is a feeling of confidence. We know that the other person wants us to, we appreciated by who we are and what we give; In addition principles and common interests are shared. There is goodwill and mutual fidelity: trust that the other person watching over our interests, is loyal and not betray us. To cultivate friendship and this persists, it gets stronger with the knowledge that we have invested so much and we have seen rewarded. The future, reminds it us once again Cowan and Kinder, plays a role, is part of every friendship: pleasure, dreams, expectations and the comfort of knowing that our friend will be with us to share it. Definitely not neglects to cultivate friendship and maintain which has already, share, follow, feed it, provide all that is required to grow, enjoy it and that is a true oasis in this short transit where everything is perishable, transient.